Short Thought continued.....
‘Jesus ...came to a village where... Martha opened her home to him.
She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.
But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made...
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,
but few things are needed – or indeed only one.
Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”’
(Luke 10:38-42 NIV)
People used to commend me for how much I did: being a wife, a mum,
numerous activities at church, at school and paid employment.
When depression struck, I kept going and took on more.
I coped by hiding my illness, keeping busy and hoping that if all appeared well it would go away.
I knew that I was a 'Martha', busy, busy; yet I longed to be a 'Mary' sitting at Jesus' feet.
I gave more time to activities for Jesus, than to time with Jesus.
I was missing quality time with Him. I chose to change.
Spending time with Jesus allowed Him to heal me.
But this time with Jesus was in addition to everything else.
I added being a 'Mary' on top of being a 'Martha'.
I was a 'Marthy'!
There was still the 'something more' I longed for.
On several occasions God spoke to me through a heron waiting at the riverside –
"Wait" I kept hearing Him say.
I kept waiting for God to reveal the next thing for me to do.
A forthcoming change at work caused me to evaluate the non-negotiables I did.
Reading a list I had compiled of my activities exhausted me.
The list was full of good things which were at the same time both 'not enough' and 'too much'.
Prayerfully and slowly I stepped out of many activities.
In doing so I came to recognise that I had been using what I 'did' to define me.
Not 'doing' left me in a vulnerable place which was scary and isolating.
In the space that stopping these activities created,
God began a deep work in my heart as He spoke His words of love,
His words of affirmation, His words of who I am: precious, honoured, loved.
I realised that "Wait" was not a gentle whisper but a command to stop;
to allow my Father God to come alongside me to do the heart-work in me
that I had been too busy to allow Him to do.
I had to accept and love who God made me to be,
and then do the work He has for me to do.
I know this time of apparent inactivity is not forever.
The ‘what's next’ will come in God's timing.
What, or who, defines you?
Are you creating time to listen to God, and allow Him to do His work in you?